A parent’s response to an aggressive situation is vital to managing angry and aggressive teens. In an effort to communicate this to you–the parent–effectively, yet out of love and respect for all you do, I have a short story.
I had a great conversation with a young teen yesterday who is 16 years old. He is currently in a situation where his father is not always around. His mother and sister tend to always gang up on him while his father is away. He honestly communicated to me that he controls himself while his mother and sister pound him with everything he does wrong. How does his mother communicate with him? His mother yells and cusses at him ruthlessly. This parent, even if they are right in what they are telling their son to do, is not responding in a way that effectively manages an angry and aggressive teen. This will only create an angry and aggressive teen.
I cannot tell a parent how to parent, but I can bestow a little advice in this area having been there, and having worked with families of teens for 4 years now.
Teens Will Become Angry and Aggressive Teens, If You Cannot Control Yourself
I know that your teen is not perfect, and I know you are not perfect. But when dealing with troubled teens who show very aggressive behavior, you have to compose yourself first. Your example will set the tone of the conversation. If your teen does not want to, or chooses not to follow the tone of conversation, I encourage you to come back to the conversation when your teen can do just that.
Do you want to be able to help calm your teen down? Do you want to teach your teen how to handle their anger? If they don’t learn how to handle anger, it will lead to death or prison. That is the sad but necessary truth. You CAN teach your teen how to handle their aggressive anger through communication and also counseling. A great program that teaches you exactly how to do this is The Total Transformation. If it does not work for you and if it does not teach you how to manage an aggressive teen, you can send it back, full refund, no hassles. There are other programs out there as well, I’m just not as familiar with them.
Another great method for managing aggressive behavior in teens is your teen’s triggers. Learn your teen’s triggers, so that you will know what areas of your communication need some tweaking. You don’t avoid certain topics because it makes your teen mad, you learn how to handle them differently, or teach your teen how to handle their anger differently. What winds them up? What agitates them? Should you communicate and help your teen some way in this? We believe you should, and we believe that you can.
Lastly, angry and aggressive teens can be helped also through counseling. But, if you put your teen in the victim chair, they won’t like it. So, in an effort to walk side by side with your aggressive teen, go to therapy together. Do therapy together so that you are both learning new ways of interacting. Be clear with the therapist. Let them know your problem and that you would like to learn new ways of dealing with, or communicating with your aggressive teen.
Managing angry and aggressive teens is a process that some parents have to go through. Sadly, a lot of parents avoid ever having to go through any steps in an effort to help their teen. You can teach your teen responsibility and equip them. You will have the necessary tools to better lead your teen in managing their angry, aggressive behaviors.
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